The client I want to tell you about is a friend and colleague as well. Frank has been out of work. He has been seeking out his next step in life. He was hurting when I found him refusing to see what I see.
You see, when we drop all judgment and expectations of a person having to show up within the constructs we demand as normal, we see a person for themselves authentically.
I did this with Frank.
It took some time. I saw him as lazy at one point. I judged him as a self-saboteur and out of touch with reality. I pitied him and wondered if he would “get his act together”, a favorite phrase from my father when I misbehaved. But my content from my past was clouding what was true. My content “made” Frank into someone he was not, someone I could place my issues upon and feel better about my life. Frank reflected the embodiment of fears I held in me. What if I was perceived as lazy and people disapproved of me? What if I wasn’t good enough to hold a job? What if I failed to achieve success? My thought: I would be a loser, lazy, and hopeless.
But all that was through the lens of experiences, beliefs, and judgments thrust into a potential circumstance that wasn’t my reality. It could be though, and that was my fear; the possibility of failure. Failure itself had proven to serve me in the past. It served as an opportunity to learn and grow and refine my interests and skills. After all, a child learning to walk fails again and again, and must fail in order to succeed. What failures do you have that you still judge yourself for? Is it time to celebrate your failures, and map how it led (or could lead) to success? Let’s stop judging the baby learning to walk for falling and returning to a crawl. Let’s celebrate the willingness to try again. Let’s celebrate our progress. Let’s stay focused on our purpose, plans, and goals, celebrating the moments of success along our journeys.
Frank, was like a toddler looking to “walk” into the next part of his life. How could I judge him for being where he was without experiencing my own pain supporting my judgments staying intact? Impossible. I had an opportunity to release my own perspective about what life is and what transitions are like and what my dad meant when he said, “get your act together”. He was calling to a part of me that knew there was more of me that could show up. He was right. I was the one who judged myself and he merely called attention to something obvious to him. I was out of alignment with myself. He was inviting me, in his own way, to remember who I truly am and show up as my best self.
I expected Frank to be at his best too and my disappointment was evident. I was disappointed I couldn’t change his situation. He had so much potential in him. Would he ever see it? I hoped so, but it was up to him. It was up to him to take the path that would release anything in the way of him loving himself enough to stand up and try walking again. And I will be there cheering on his successes: Standing, wobbling, falling, and getting up again until his legs are strong and he learns to eventually walk and run and play in the next chapter of his life.
Transitions can be tormenting, or they can be playful and enjoyable. How do you approach your transitions? New jobs? New relationships? New skill development? Loss?
We teach and practice navigating transitions with grace and ease. We do this with individuals, groups, and corporations. We invite you to explore this with us as you pursue living your optimal life. Set up a no-obligation discovery call at optimalbeing.live/connect.